Would You Kindly Read This Article?

Posted by E

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

There has been a long standing argument over whether or not video games can be considered art. Certain critics, such as Roger Ebert, have voiced the opinion that games cannot be art because, "Video games by their nature require player choices, which is the opposite of the strategy of serious film and literature, which requires authorial control." Some have argued that all art requires interaction on the part of the viewer, as interpretation of the work plays a prime role in the enjoyment of whatever has been visualized by the artist.

I bring this up because every once in awhile a game comes along that can truly bridge the gap between gaming and art. (Half-Life 2 and Okami are two recent examples.) BioShock is the latest game to achieve this and ultimately may be the best argument available for games as art.

BioShock is set in 1960 within the confines of an underwater city known as Rapture. Rapture is a little bit Ayn Rand, a little bit Citizen Kane and a little bit Logan's Run. Rapture was created in the 40's as a response to the direction that America was taking. Freeing themselves from the fear of the bomb and of a world going haywire, they built their utopia under the sea, where a man is "entitled to the sweat from his brow".

Deep in the confines of the ocean they discovered a creature which could generate extraordinary effects in humans. Specifically, they unlock our complete mental capabilities and provide the means for using psionic powers: telekinesis, control of electricity and flame, etc. However, these powers took an enormous toll on the human hosts and mutated them into unsightly and crazed creatures.

The story begins with you on an airplane which crashes into the ocean, right next to the entryway to Rapture. You find yourself quickly trapped deep within its confines, searching for a means of escape.

Honestly, that's about all I'm going to tell you as far as the story is concerned. The game is amazing and beautiful and has a narrative that pulls you in deep. By the time you reach the understanding of what is going on, your jaw will be on the floor.

The game has a visual style that is consistent throughout. Rapture is heavily based on Art Deco design. Every area of the game has a distinct feel and flavor, though it all adheres to the overall graphical style of the game.

The gameplay is varied, with the player being offered choices as how best to proceed. The choices are not always as simple as fight or flight, however. One of the more controversial aspects of the game involves the Little Sisters, young girls who are more or less possessed. When you have killed the Big Daddy that is protecting them, you can either release them, curing them of their affliction, or harvest them for the raw materials they provide...a process they cannot survive.

The players finds himself constantly torn between right and wrong, with different warring factions pulling him this way and that. Why are you here? How can you escape? Why has this once utopian city crumbled into its current dystopian state?

The answers are all provided as you play. And play you must. If you enjoy video games at all, this is one that absolutely should not be missed.

25m - How High Can You Get?

Posted by E

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Donkey KongI had the good fortune last night of catching the movie "The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters". Not to be confused with that OTHER monkey movie that everybody adores, The King of Kong is a documentary detailing one man's quest to become the world champion of Donkey Kong. I know that from the tidbit of plot information I just provided, you must rightly assume that this is a niche movie for geeks and gamers. However, you could not be further from the truth.

King of Kong tells the story of Steve Wiebe, an all-American chap who just never seems to get a break in life. Facing somewhat of a life crisis, he finds himself looking for something to fulfill his life, to give it purpose. He ends up perusing the score registry at Twin Galaxies and decides that he is going to try and beat the Donkey Kong world record.

The lurid underbelly of competitive gaming is shown to the viewer in exquisite detail. Everybody knows everybody and Steve is very much the outsider. Not only this, but the man whose score he has to displace is Billy Mitchell, a renowned gamer who holds high scores in several games.

The drama that unfolds is truly a David and Goliath scenario. Steve, humble and seemingly decent is pitted against Billy, who comes off as an arrogant prick. Will Steve fulfill his dream and become the Donkey Kong world champion? Will the forces of nature yet again conspire against him? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

The film is currently only in limited release, but I highly recommend it to any and all. Incidentally, interest in classic video games, while a plus, is certainly not a necessity for enjoyment of this movie.

God, What an Awful Racket!

Posted by E

Saturday, August 18, 2007


By now I'm sure you're aware, provided you've been reading the bilge I spew forth upon Bonez on a semi-regular basis, that my predilections tend to hover near the morbid. With all of the focus on death, destruction and misery in my posts, you must think that I'm some morose Emo type, sitting in a corner, reflecting in my dark thoughts and occasionally cutting myself in a desperate bid for attention. But, like any other person, I have interests and hobbies. For one, I love concerts. There's nothing like listening to live music, at least in my book. All of which makes a fantastic segue for a discussion of one of my favorite live bands...

GWAR is a band best known for their stage show, which regularly involves decapitation, disembowelment, torture, necrophilia, bestiality and many other delightful activities. But the fun part of GWAR is that everything I just mentioned is delivered in a tongue in cheek manner. Dressed in ridiculously over the top costumes, they present the persona of a team of space demons who are here to purge the world of humanity. All of the above mentioned acts involve spraying gallons of blood and detritus into the audience, thoroughly soaking all in attendance.

GWAR presents it all with a sick sense of humor. They don't take themselves very seriously at all and therefore seem to avoid the accusations that more prominent musicians such as Eminem and Marilyn Manson have to endure.

Musically, GWAR is quite diverse, playing everything from punk, metal and country to showtunes and experimental rock. The lyrics are every bit as perverse and obscene as the stage show, and although they are filled with tirades against humanity and all its ills, they never present themselves in a truly menacing light.

For a little bit of understanding of the nature of GWAR, here is their history, taken directly from their website:

"Eons ago, there existed an elite group of chaos warriors who ravaged the galaxy with a boundless hatred of all things alive. They were called the Scumdogs of the Universe, and they grew in might and fury, the greatest weapon in the arsenal of their cosmic Master.

But they became too powerful, and too defiant, and for their cosmic crimes were banished to the most insignificant planet in the universe...the seething mudball known as Earth.

Millions of years passed, and they slumbered, until the pollution of your world de-thawed these creatures from their ageless coma...and now they stride the Earth, living gods, dedicated to one goal, the destruction of the human race, and the eradication of existence itself! Wait- that’s two goals!

Hark to the hideous majesty of your MASTERS, rulers of Earth, the MIGHTY GWAR!!!"

The Strangest of the Strange

Posted by E

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Salsa SpockI have to admit that one of the things I love most about the interweb is the sheer amount of pure absurdity you can run across. I made a few forays into this kind of territory 10 years ago, just for the sake of a few chuckles. (Yes, 10 years ago, so pardon the horrible page design.) But as the webs have matured, people have found methods to use this new medium in interesting ways. I present below a handful of some of the more amusing sites I've come across in my travels. For some of you, these may be old hat. I'm not going to try and claim that I am the only one that knows of them. Some, AYBABTU, for example, took on a life of their own. Others are just...yeah.

Our first site is one that I love to throw out in polite conversation because people never know quite how to react to its existence. Do you like Leonard Nimoy? Do you like salsa? Do you think Leonard Nimoy should eat more salsa? Well then, perhaps you should join up with this site and make your demands known.

How about Roy Orbison? Have you ever wanted to read a story about him being wrapped in Saran Wrap? How about a whole SERIES of stories? They're out there, if you're interested.

Have you ever found Jeff Goldblum's gaze a bit offsetting? Would it upset you to have him watching you in your most private moments?

This next one is an oldie, and in its day spawned an entire "ate my balls" subculture. The original is long defunct. This link is brought to you by the Internet Archive wayback machine.

Have you ever been fascinated by the ancient Japanese art of creating and maintaining bonsai trees? Haven't you always secretly wanted to do the same with kittens?

My next two entries are a little more adult in nature. Do you remember the 80's cartoon, Thundercats? Have you ever wondered how they'd look naked? Or have you ever played with a Lego set and wondered where the little Lego men came from?

To finish up, I'll send you off with a true internet classic. AYBABTU (Otherwise known as All Your Base Are Belong To Us). This little gem was discovered as the intro to the Sega Genesis game "Zero Wing". The voices are added for emphasis and were not originally part of the game. AYB spawned a true internet meme some 7 years ago, culminating in songs, stories, movies, hackings...you name it. This one is my personal favorite.

The Most Fun You'll Ever Have Pushing Buttons

Posted by E

Wednesday, August 1, 2007


There are few things on this earth more appealing to the ladies than a man with creative talent and ability. For example, women will swoon for a man that can play guitar and croon for them. It requires the complete trifecta: talent, skill and a willingness to put your worries aside and care not if others appreciate the majesty of your performance.

Some of us, however, don't have time for all that crap. Let's be realistic, it takes YEARS to learn how to play those things with any degree of skill. And then even if you learn it, you've got to make sure that the genres of music you play are compatible to the tastes of the woman you are attempting to woo. Go ahead and try to play anything off "Supersadomasochisticexpialidocious" by Elvis Hitler to a girl whose principal musical interest lies in Hank Williams, Sr. and see how for you get. And I'm not just talking out of my ass, here. I've been learning to play guitar for almost a solid week at this point, and let me tell you, it ain't as easy as it looks.

Luckily, there are options for those of us with all the natural talents of a sloth coupled with the attention span of a goldfish. I am referring, of course, to Guitar Hero, the video game phenomenon that has taken the country by storm.

Guitar Hero, for those not in the know, is a video game for the Playstation 2 and XBox 360 systems that allows you to simulate all the awesomeness of being a rock star without all the hassle of learning how to play an instrument. You are presented with a plastic representation of a real guitar, albeit in a smaller scale. Said guitar contains five buttons on the neck, Green, Red, Yellow, Blue and Orange, as well as a bar for "strumming" where the strings would be.

The premise is simple: A well-known (or not, depending on your tastes) song is played with you filling the role of the lead guitarist. The five buttons are represented at the bottom of the screen while the notes you are to play fly at you at a blinding speed. When the note you are to hit reaches the bottom of the screen, hit the appropriate button and strum the note. Play well and you raise your score while delighting the audience. Miss a note and a small squelch sounds. Miss too many notes and the audience becomes hostile, eventually booing you off the stage.

Guitar Hero, much like its true instrumental counterpart, requires practice. Early difficulties have you only managing three of the fret buttons. Expert has you flying back and forth over all five. Like real guitar, practice is the key. Unlike real guitar, you can get pretty good pretty quick. The true masters dedicate disturbing amounts of time to honing their craft.

What the game does offer, though, is a quick thrill. It is exhilarating to get lost in the moment, nailing key passages, solos, trills and whatever else the game throws at you. There are many songs to work your way through, of varying difficulty.

Those that have known me for any length of time know of my love for this game. As I mentioned earlier, I have now been learning real guitar for several weeks, and I can attribute a large part of my interest in learning as a result of my love for the digital version.

However, like any relationship, there is a darker side. The current bane of my existence is Hangar 18 on Expert. No song in this game tripped me up for more than 5 attempts. I number well over 200 attempts on this song and can't get past the 90% mark. To add insult to injury, this song was one of the main songs that bolstered my interest initially. I am a lifelong Megadeth fan and that song is one of their masterpieces.

Alas, I know not whether or not I will ever beat that song. If I were to do so, all I would have left is Freebird and then I could live out my life content with my level of awesomeness. For now I must simply live with the fact that I am only rated at "Super cool" instead of "Wicked bad" when it comes to this game.......sigh......

Addendum as of August 2: I beat both Hangar 18 and Freebird tonight. Now to 5 star everything. I guess I am finally wicked bad.