The Camping Trip - Part 2

Posted by Doodface

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

To read part 1, Click here.


The first day of the camping trip was amazing. Probably up there in the top 20 days of my life. We built a fire, set up camp, and set in for some serious drinking. As we were drinking, there were people walking down the nature trail about 50 yards away. They actually have to walk around my truck to get to their hippy nature goodness.

"Fuck it, I'll move the truck later."

So we had fire, Check.

We had beer, Check.

What is the next logical step? Let's take Acid! So... The remainder of the afternoon was spent staring at shit.

"Man, that rock is fucking trippy!"

"holy shit, look up at the trees.."

(to the mormon-esque family walking down the nature trail) "HEY! You want a beer??"

It was getting close to dinner time, so we figured we would pull out the badass steaks we bought, and put them over the fire on the grill grate that we had brought. Only we didnt bring the grate. We had a giant truck load of shit, and forgot the grate to cook the food on. Oh, nor did we pack any firewood. Or toilet paper while we're on the subject.

So somehow Justin and I took on the role of kitchen bitches, and started working on ways to cook the food. As we are cooking and sharing make-up secrets, Dan "the man" is out in the woods with the axe chopping down trees for firewood. The defining moment was when Justin yelled out in to the woods: "How do you want your potato??"

and Dan responds (while cutting down a tree) "Dude, you're so fucking gay!".

Since we are without a grate, we were using rocks as cooking vessels. They worked ok, but trying to get the steaks out of the fire was a bit tricky. So after Dan had been cutting down trees for like an hour, he comes back starving. He goes to pull the steak out of the fire, and drops it right in the ashes. At this point, he is so beyond pissed that he just goes completely quiet. Since we had forgotten knives as well, we had to eat the steaks with our hands. He just wipes off the grit, and goes all Grizzly Adams on that steak. Alpha-male style. Then I think we may have brought him his newspaper, and rubbed his feet like the good little bitches we had become.

After dinner, we moved on to the next mind-altering activity.. Justin pulls out his rolling machine, and rolls a couple of joints. We are sitting around the fire, passing a joint around, drinking beers, talking and laughing our asses off.

What could be better?

Well at this point, we have drank beer most of the day, dropped acid, and smoked a good bit of weed. You would think we were sufficiently fucked up, right? Nope. Now it's on to the hard liquor!

This is where the night gets a bit foggy.

we started passing around the bottles of liquor, and just drank straight from the bottle. I know we killed a bottle of SoCo, and we were drinking Goldschlager (bleck).. I'm not sure what else we drank, but it was MORE than enough.

We are RETARDED drunk now.

I remember all of us falling and stumbling every time we went to go pee. Justin almost fell in to the fire one time. After that, he realized that he was too drunk to camp, and headed for his tent.

Dan and I stayed up drinking, and did the only thing that white teenage boys can do while drinking. We plotted on how to fuck with the guy that had passed out first!

Seeing as how we were trashed beyond comprehension, our "that's too fucked up" sense was greatly impaired. So our big plan to fuck with Justin was to pee on him. In his tent.

Yeah.... I know.

So, there we are with our dicks out, peeing on our friend while he is passed out drunk.

Not our proudest moment..

As we are peeing on Justin, and dying of laughter, Justin wakes up. We can't actually see him, as we are just pissing in the tent through the door. All we hear is "are you guys pissing on me?", which we respond with "no!". He says "OK!" and goes back to sleep.

Dan and I stumbled back to the fire and continued to laugh our asses off, and probably drank some more. We eventually stumbled to our tents and passed out..

Day 1 of the camping trip drew to a close. This was the last bit of fun we had.


To be continued in part 3...