Shit. It's November...

Posted by Doodface

Friday, November 7, 2008

Dammit.. here we go.

Thanksgiving is just a few weeks away, and Christmas soon after. I FUCKING HATE holidays. And not just the "Big ones", I hate them all. Yes, I am a grumpy bastard, and fuck you for asking.

Holidays are times of guilt, judgement, spending, failed expectations, forced emotions, and unwanted guests. Even the "fun" holidays bring with them false expectations..

"Hey, what are you guys doing for labor day??"

"Well I was going to sleep in, watch TV, and generally be a lazy sack of shit.. But now that I have to give my plans, I guess I will go out to a lake / waterpark / BBQ / party to make sure that my holiday wasn't lame!"

I especially hate the religious holidays. I am an Athiest, as is my wife. BUT we have a daughter, and I can't deny her Christmas and Easter! SO, just for her, we pretend to "Celebrate" someone else's fairytale.

Back to my basic reasons for this hatred:

- guilt:
I always have a feeling a guilt hanging over me on a holiday. On someone's birthday, I feel guilty that I didn't do more. On New Year's Eve, I feel guilty that we're not doing something more exciting. I never feel like I am celebrating holidays, I am always surviving them.

- judgement
I never feel like I am living up to other people's expectations on what I should be doing for a holiday. Either I didn't do enough for my wife / daughter / friend, or I didn't celebrate it effectively. I dread the question "So, what did you guys do for the holiday?" or "What did you get your daughter for her birthday?" Like I am always being graded on the answer.

- spending
It's Christmas, time to max out your credit cards!! If you dont buy more than you can afford, you must not really love your family! The most expensive things I have bought my daughter are the ones she cares about the least. However, the $1 puzzles from Target are her favorites. Fuck you and your consumerism.

- failed expectations
America now starts celebrating Christmas at the end of September. 3 months of building up to a few minutes of joy (my daughter opening presents) followed by hours of annoyance (driving around to see all 4 set of parents). Or Thanksgiving, where you spend hours and hours preparing a meal that gets devoured in 10 minutes. Woo hoo.

- forced emotions
"Hey!!! Look how happy we are!!!"
"Why? Did something good happen?"
"NO!! We are happy because the calendar says it's time!"

I don't like pretending to be happy. I don't want to celebrate these fucking holidays.

- unwanted guests
Pretty self explanatory. The holidays force us to see a lot of people that we otherwise would like to avoid (mostly ones we are related to). Joy.


I apologize if you are all in to the holidays, and I just pooped in your cornflakes, but I had to vent. It's either this, or back to throwing puppies in the woodchipper.