Wednesday, July 23, 2008
I am not one that believes in supernatural powers of any kind. I don’t think that there is a God, ghosts, poltergeists, levitation, ESP, etc... That being said, at times there does seem to be a force that punishes evil (or at least shitty) deeds.
In junior high, I met a life-long friend of mine – we’ll call him “Jim”. We were in some of the same classes together, and had almost nothing in common – besides being white kids in a 99% black school. We never really talked until one time I saw him at the skating rink on a Saturday night. And for all of you haters out there; the skating rink was the shit. He was out of school that Friday, so I just went up and asked where he had been.. From that point on we were best of friends – even though his sister scared the shit out of me (long story, but she was crazy)!
We quickly were inseparable, and spent most weekends spending the night at each other’s houses. One night while I was spending the night at Jim’s house, he was talking to a girl that he was trying to hook up with (whatever that means at 14). We’ll call her “Ashley”. He had been out on a ”date” with her recently, and apparently they had made out. All was looking well for him, until I came in to the picture.
While he was talking to her on the phone, I was in the background saying “funny” things and making her laugh. She actually told Jim to hand the phone to me, because I was funny. From that point on, she was mine. Yes, I had just swooped in, and stolen the girl that my best friend was trying to date! MAJOR violation of bro-code. At the time, this thought never crossed my mind. I was even more of an asshole then than I am now.
Well I ended up dating Ashley for 2 years, and she was truly my first love. I can’t describe to you how infatuated I was with her. And she was PERFECT. So nice, so caring, big boobs (which is like daily trips Disneyworld when you’re 14 or 15), and she let me get to third base with her on a regular basis. But she was actually TOO nice, and TOO submissive, and I started to take her for granted.
We went to separate schools, and there were girls at my school that I was interested in, and that were interested in me. So I would pull the ultimate asshole move: I would break up with her, date one of the girls from my school, break up with that girl when I got bored of her, and then go back to Ashley a week later. She took me back every single time, like my personal slave. Until she didn’t.
No amount of begging would get her back; I had fucked up for the last time. The cold realization of what I had done flooded over me, and I realized that I had lost her forever. And even worse, I had recently transferred to her school, which started the month after this went down. I had to see her every day.
Over the next few years, I dated a crazy girl on again and off again that we’ll call Elizabeth. Strangely enough, this girl too started off as Jim’s girl, but this one he turned away by his choice (VERY smart move on his part). Elizabeth was a giant pain in my ass, and extremely immature. I don’t know that I have one good memory of her... But this was only the first dose of karmic ass-rape.
Over these years, Ashley never left my mind. I thought about her a lot, and always thought of her as the perfect girl that I let get away.
In December of 1998, I had a good paying job, had lost a bunch of weight, and was feeling pretty damn good about myself. I figured if I ever had a shot with Ashley again, it was now. I called her up out of the blue (3 years after last speaking to her), and asked her if she wanted to go out some time. Even though she was dating someone, she agreed (this should have been my first clue that she was unstable).
We went out a few times, and once again, she was mine. I quickly noticed however, that this was not the same Ashley from my younger years. Sweet, submissive, caring Ashley had turned in to Jealous, Controlling, OCD Bitch. Even with all those wonderful traits, I loved her. I think I still saw her for what she was in the past. We moved in together pretty quickly, and in November of 2001, got married.
Now before we got married, I knew she had issues. I had VERY close female friends that I basically was forced to abandon due to her uncontrollable jealousy. She would spend hundreds of dollars on beanie babies and her favorite band’s memorabilia, but then scream at me if I bought a coffee on the bank card. I would get yelled at if I didn’t hang shirts up in the closet facing the right direction. She would make fun of all my friends, and judge them. We weren’t allowed to hang out with my friends, only hers – which I referred to as the “Redneck Rampage”. Bitch was crazy. I stupidly hoped that marriage would change things - It didn’t.
10 months after getting married, I found out that she was cheating on me with a co-worker of hers.
Karma, you fucking bitch.
She never could explain WHY she did it – she said that I treated her perfectly, and was the best guy ever, she just wasn’t happy. I couldn’t figure it out either – until after we split up. At first I wanted to work things out, so I was given a book on “tough love”. This book is basically a manual on how to keep crazy bitches in check. So following the book’s suggestions, I started backing off, acting like I didn’t care, acting like I was moving on. This immediately made me so attractive to her, that she was chasing me like crazy, and trying to get me in to bed. It felt real good to turn her down, by the way. While it was tempting to take her back, seeing this display really solidified how crazy she was. I moved on for good, and she eventually married the guy that she cheated on me with.
Jim stuck with me through all of it (even though Ashley had hurt my relationship with him as well), and Karma got the revenge for him. I guess I had paid my dues, as I soon after found my current wife. She is almost too perfect. She is way too hot to be with me, very easy going, shares my world views, and is someone that I can just talk to for hours. I am glad that Karma punished me early in life.
I hope she is done with me.
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