A new low.

Posted by Captain Colitis

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Greetings all, Capn' Colon-blow here. When I was asked to come and write here at Omniphobic, I have to admit that my first thought was "Great, it's Marry Poppins and the seven dorks." I knew that I had been asked to come on-board so that I could keep an eye on everyone and make sure they weren't fucking off. These guys are awful about getting anything done and they need people, usually myself, to keep them productive. Now, as much as I hate playing "Nanny Do-right" to these Douche nozzles, I feel that it is my duty. Among other senses, it is my sense of piety that I fear for with this lot. If I had not agreed, I fear that these godless Schmucks would spew nothing but shit and sprinkles. I promise to not let this happen as I have everyone's best intentions in mind and Jeebus in my corner.
In Jeebus all things are probable.

I will say that one of my biggest complaints about working with these fuck sticks has been their constant railing against religion. Atheists and Agnostics, all. Agnostics, seriously... "I have seen nothing that proves that I have any knowledge of evidence that leans towards the possibility that there may be a chance of something else out there that could give us information leading to some insight on the subject of god." Grow a sack and tell people your opinion pussy. It's either, "Yes, I believe in god and I will go to heaven where my joyous soul will thrive forever" or "No, my feeble mind can't possibly comprehend the concept of God so I get to spend my eternal days in a flaming lake of Hellfire, thanks for asking!"

The reason people don't grasp the after-life is simple; People can only think in finites. Once you realize this and open your mind to the “in-finites”, it really is a lot simpler to understand. With in-finites, you get forever. Eternal bliss or suffering. Omnipotence, etc. Infinity is the key here. Open your mind and you will see how easy it is. Too many people have “Science” stuck in their vagina and resort to “logic” and “reasoning” as their path. Have fun at lake Burny McSuckit heathens! Shut your free-thinking mouth and say “Moo” with the rest of us.