More Creepy Tales From the Darkside

Posted by E

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Greetings, fright fans... Are you ready for another terrifying tale from Korey666, the master of horror? Do you have what it takes to make your way through another twisted tale of terror? Will you be able to sleep this night after seeing what evils he has in store for you? Dare you read any further?

I do not wish to sully your experience with this master of the macabre, so I present to you the next from his continuing series of "Creepy Tales From the Darkside", a frightful tale I like to call...

6. Three Hillbillies and a Stinky Member

Sweat poured down my face as the heat from the scorching sun projected through the window of my pick-up. I was alone, exhausted, dehydrated, and stranded in the middle of nowhere. According to my map, it would be several hours until I found any type of rest stop.
Fortunately, I noticed in the distance an old broken down car garage next to a gas station. The place appeared to be completely deserted as I neared closer. Realizing the gas tank of my pick-up truck was running on empty, I crossed my fingers, hoping I'd be able to get it filled here. I pulled the truck over onto the gravel and got out.
To my surprise, there was a tall shirtless man sprawled out on a wooden rocking chair in front of the gas station. "Excuse me sir? Do you think you could fill up the tank for me?" I asked.
"I don't reckon y'all gonna find any fuel for your truck around here... ain't another motherfucker in sight for miles either".
He glared at me with an eerie grin and began laughing hysterically as a chill swept over me. His hideous redneck face made me want to barf. Feeling very uneasy about this fucker, I walked back to the truck as quick as possible and hopped in. When I went to turn the key I noticed it had been removed from the ignition. "Lookin' for something?"
I was startled by a sickeningly grotesque hillbilly popping his head out from under my seat where the gas pedal was and positioning his head inches away from my Pete. Without warning, the other hillbilly snuck up from behind me, grabbed me by my neck and held me there as the other one unzipped my pants and began giving me a very intense blow job. I shrieked and shrieked, but it was no use. He just kept giving me this pleasuring BJ of filth. His toothless mouth and germ-infested saliva created an extremely euphoric sensation, but I struggled to get lose and finally threw him off me and jumped from out of the truck.
I was clotheslined hard to the ground by another hillbilly. He knelt me down and pushed my face into the gravel and plunged into my tight anus with his huge, hairy, hideous and smelly Pete. He was moving so fast that the pain became unbearable and I burst out into tears. The other two began popping gross zits on their chests and shooting the puss all over my face and Pete. Then, as I was still having my asshole reconstructed, one of them buried his a-hole in my face and began fucking himself with my huge Greek nose. He continued until he finally orgasmed and lost control of all the muscles in his body, sending putrid foul-smelling, yellow diarrhea all over my face and in my nose.
I had had just about enough sexual abuse from these inbred Neanderthals. I reached down into my sock and equipped myself with my pocket knife and used it to sodomize the fucking shit out of these hideous incest junkies. All three of these filthy freaks laid there groaning in pain as blood dripped from their unwiped assholes. I had given myself enough time to quickly fill up my tank and vacate this hellhole, just as long as the pump was intact. Fortunately, it was and I proceeded to fill up the truck. With my blade still in hand, I cautiously kept my eyes focused on these three scumbags to prevent another sneak attack of sodomy.
When the tank reached full and I prepared to get my ass the fuck out of this place, a sinister idea entered my head. It was now time to get revenge on these faggots. I snatched up the gas pump for the second time and walked over to the closest redneck who remained wounded on the ground. I rolled him over onto his stomach and violently jammed the end of the pump deep into his anal cavity as he threw his head back and cried out for help. I pulled the trigger and let the flammable fluid leak out into his colon.
There were small pebbles of gravel stuck to the hardened blood and feces on his anus. I filled both of the other hillbillies' rectums with the gasoline and left the pump laying on the ground to leak out all over the premises. I hopped into my vehicle and lit a match. "See you in fucking hell, fuckin' motherfuckers!" I screamed as I tossed it out the window and sped off through the dirt.
Their bodies became engulfed in flames as I watched through the rear-view mirror and heard their blood-curdling cries. Seconds before these fucks burned to bloody ashes, I heard the final words of one of the hillbillies. "AWWW FUCKIN' GOD, MY BLOODY PETE, A-HOLE AND NIPPLES HAVE BEEN TRANSFORMED TO ASHES!!!"


Now admittedly, as a transported northerner living in the deep south, I can attest that forced hillbilly sodomy is an all-too-real terror that I have to deal with on a daily basis. Redneck rape is a problem that is completely out of control here in the south. What's that? You've never heard about that? Well, there's a reason. No major news outlet wants to send reporters here to discuss the matter because THEY WILL BE RAPED BY HILLBILLIES. And that is the truth.

As this is a day-to-day fear of my own, I feel that I can really read this terror tale with an eye for detail, as this is a story that is never more than a few seconds away from being my reality.

Korey666's tale starts off simply enough, a tired and overheated motorist stranded in the middle of nowhere, desperate for fuel and badly needed rest. His apparent mistrust of his surroundings is not unwarranted, as southerners have a bad reputation for, as Korey666 would say, raping the shit out of outsiders. As this is written in first person, we can only assume that this is Korey666 himself, tired and desperate.

He finds respite at a local gas station and stops to fill up. However, the attendant informs him that no gas is available and sets into motion events that begin to make Korey666 uneasy. His wariness begins to build as he describes the hideous visage before him.

"His hideous redneck face made me want to barf."

Korey666's eloquence belies the sinister story he is about to weave for us. He hops back into his vehicle and is then STUNNED as he "was startled by a sickeningly grotesque hillbilly popping his head out from under my seat where the gas pedal was and positioning his head inches away from my Pete."

Good lord, not his Pete! I can only imagine what horrible things this vile beast will do to his Pete, not to mention what could be done with his bozac. I just hope that the redneck doesn't go for an impressive reverse-vasectomy, that would be BAD.

This is where it gets interesting. We're led to believe that now begins the unbearable sexual tortures perpetuated upon our narrator. Of course, Korey666 is ALL FUCKING MAN and totally doesn't have any kind of homorific thoughts running through his head. This is evident in passages such as:

"the other hillbilly snuck up from behind me, grabbed me by my neck and held me there as the other one unzipped my pants and began giving me a very intense blow job"
"His toothless mouth and germ-infested saliva created an extremely euphoric sensation"

You're goddamn right, Korey666 is HATING this! He's in hell! An extremely euphoric hell, but hell, nonetheless.

But the degradation just keeps on going as "The other two began popping gross zits on their chests and shooting the puss all over my face and Pete", a maneuver made all the more interesting when you consider that Korey666 is currently facedown in the gravel with a horrifying monster "plunged into my tight anus with his huge, hairy, hideous and smelly Pete".

Jesus, his hell must be indescribable, but it only gets worse as the smelliest and grossest redneck of them all "buried his a-hole in my face and began fucking himself with my huge Greek nose"..."until he finally orgasmed and lost control of all the muscles in his body, sending putrid foul-smelling, yellow diarrhea all over my face and in my nose."

The suffering that Korey666 has now had to endure is beyond measure. The degradation, humiliation and complete loss of self must be pushing him into a place few have ever dared to tread. And Korey666 "had had just about enough sexual abuse from these inbred Neanderthals". Just about enough. Maybe a little more. In the anus. With a swollen Pete, please.

So bla, bla, bla, Korey666 beats up his attackers, fills their respective ani with gasoline and sets them on fire. The end, right?

No, Korey666 manages to end this story with the single greatest line of dialogue ever written in the history of literature. A line so full of truth and realism that I sometimes get cold shudders down my spine just to recall it.

"Seconds before these fucks burned to bloody ashes, I heard the final words of one of the hillbillies. "AWWW FUCKIN' GOD, MY BLOODY PETE, A-HOLE AND NIPPLES HAVE BEEN TRANSFORMED TO ASHES!!!"

Now, I've lived in the south a good chunk of my life. The first thing I can tell you about southerners, they LOVE to use the word bloody. They use it all the bloody time, usually when they're asking for some biscuits or nipping off for a spot of tea. Pip, pip, cheerio.

What makes that line work is the fact that that's EXACTLY how people talk.

When I'm set on fire, I ALWAYS make mention of the various parts on me that are currently burning, and then point out which have already burned and been transformed to ashes.

Seriously? Transformed to ashes?

The dying scream of a man who has just had his ass filled with gasoline and set alight is "Awww fuckin' god, my bloody Pete, a-hole and nipples have been transformed to ashes!!!"

First off, fuck your nipples. Of all the bits that are currently on fire, they should score the lowest, as your Pete and a-hole serve specific biological functions. For the average redneck hillbilly, lactation will not be a concern, so nipples are right out.

Secondly, who the fuck refers to their ass as their "a-hole", ESPECIALLY when they are currently on fire? My experience has dictated that there is an inverse proportional ratio between the level of pain a person feels and the relative vocabulary they exhibit. Most who are hurting resort to four letter words and their ilk. In Korey666's world, they resort to rarely used slang to bemoan their circumstance.

And not only do they resort to poor slang, but they apparently give you a play by play. Owwww, my bozac is on fire. OWWW, my bozac is shrivelling from heat. OH FUCK, MY BOZAC HAS BEEN TRANSFORMED INTO ASHES!!!

Korey666, your talents never cease to amaze me. Whether you're writing intense dialog such as "See you in fucking hell, fuckin' motherfuckers!", or using your eloquence to express your revenge scenarios with flowing verbage like "I reached down into my sock and equipped myself with my pocket knife and used it to sodomize the fucking shit out of these hideous incest junkies.", you always manage to horrify your readers with your limitless depictions of pain and suffering.

If only I could find the talent to match yours.

More to come...